Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
