fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
