When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
