I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
