remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
