theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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