Soap is not a condiment
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The power of my boobs compel you
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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