he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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