The maid of honor just puked.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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