you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
