How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
