Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
