Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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