Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize