He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
