ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
