listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
True college students do jello shots in the library
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