My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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