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I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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