i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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