If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Oh god it's open bar.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
