Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
