Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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