Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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