This girl is more easily done than said...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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