stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
