I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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