Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
