I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize