my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
