I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
