Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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