I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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