I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
