Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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