i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
