He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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