I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We need to rekindle our bromance
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
