True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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