I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
