O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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