Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize