we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
