We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
