You work out of a Hotel?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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