chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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