Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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