You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
