I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
