I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
