my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
