You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
