why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize