The maid of honor just puked.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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