Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
