My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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