That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize