She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
