I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
